Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
