Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
