He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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