Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
oh god was she eating orange peels again
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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