At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
