He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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