I'm so fucking centered right now
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
