She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
