You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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