mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
