it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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