Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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