Having a random hookup so left but love u
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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