So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
