some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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