All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
