and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
