Sponge bath it is.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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