My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
