Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
