During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
