Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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