I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.