just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on