Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
