I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
