just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
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This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
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Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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