My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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