i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
