Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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