I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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