Porn is love you can see.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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