Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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