belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
