So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
