And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize