At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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