And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
