eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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