he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
