Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
