Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
