You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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