He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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