i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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