he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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