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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.

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• (916): View more from California

  I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.

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• 

  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"

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• (909): View more from California

  The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  #1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  With a fannypack full of drugs.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.

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