the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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