Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.

Fav 39 1827 5205
share tweet
(253): View more from Washington

she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?

Fav 22 2071 4235
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly

Fav 39 1252 10579
share tweet
(973): View more from New Jersey

gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.

Fav 37 9212 1424
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"

Fav 22 1661 3669
share tweet
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl

Fav 24 1233 6711
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.

Fav 49 1675 3846
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(252): View more from North Carolina

Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.

Fav 5 1322 787
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa

Fav 0 56 24
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT