Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
