I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
