nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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