Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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