I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
