Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
