So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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