we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
