drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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