So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
