you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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