I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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