I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
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He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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