White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
