So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
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