my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
